When it Comes to Fiction

Well, hello there, everyone! I am writing from College Station, TX today! I should be grading essays, but let’s face it; I’m on vacation, and I have been working like an idiot until this point because according to my overactive brain, I “need to”. Frankly. So, in lieu of work, I’m taking time to do my own thang. You may applaud, throw a fist in the air, jam out to 80’s music-your choice.

I have recently been visiting several blogs about fiction writing and God forbid–talking about your fiction writing. *insert crying whilst laughing emjoi here* I will be the first to admit that I am my own worst critic, as I’m sure 99.99% of people are. That .01% needs to get off their high horse and be like everyone else. Seriously.

I digress. When it comes to my own fiction writing, I will be the first to say “this is the dumbest thing I think I have ever heard”, or, “this is absolute garbage” and start laughing as I drag it to the folder of abandoned mini-manuscripts. I always find that it is so damning and ridiculous when people ask, how’s writing going? Are you still trying?–ugh, wait for eye roll and sort of engaged pity conversationalists to unite and drag your self-proclaimed awesomeness into a pit of lesser existence…whoa, that was dark.

It always sounds so great in my head. I can always visualize the story, the characters, their faults, and everything about them that makes them seem so human and so utterly relatable to me. It is not uncommon for me to pull my own emotions into what the characters are feeling. In a sense, I feel their pain, pride, or pressures. Yet, I still struggle to get the confidence and the time to sit and let their lives unfold. It’s like once the seed is planted, before it is even written down and ready, someone asks what it is, and it suddenly vanishes.

I was surprised to hear that other writers experienced the same thing. This sort of shame that we feel when it comes to our own creations. And maybe shame isn’t the correct word, but for lack of better terms, our artistic embarrassment sometimes wins over  us less confident writers–I should speak to it that I am not embarrassed of my ability to write well, but there is a certain amount of risk and fear that comes with exposing your child (writing) to the real world where it can be doused in a publisher’s changes and otherwise insulting suggestions.

Not to mention that it’s almost entirely offensive when those who know you never ask to see your work. I know, I’m never satisfied. First, I want people to not ask because it’s embarrassing, then I do want people to ask because as a writer for the people, it is, in fact, the people who you want to want your material. It’s a vicious cycle that makes absolutely no sense, and I am more than very aware of that concept.

Just when I was getting all my thoughts out, I get the “come pick me up” text 15 minutes early.

Until next time, writers. Enjoy your wonderful March day 🙂

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